Parents Consider
Children’s Challenges in Public Life (cont)
The family’s discussions of the news become even more important than
when the judge in the family was in private life. Especially during high-profile
trials or those that involve peers, judges’ children benefit from
conversations before the next day of school that will prepare them for
questions and comments. Some families routinely discuss the day’s
headlines at breakfast to get ready for the day. Some children in the
judge’s family will approach these matters differently than others.
One wants to talk with peers who make comments. Another avoids any conversation
about the news. Parents can help each child adopt a stance comfortable
to the whole family.
Families See the Uniqueness of Each Person
JFI Board Member Mary Moyer (OH) points to the uniqueness of each child
as she thinks of public family life issues confronting children. She places
a high value on working with children to encourage them to make sound
choices based on an inner sense of right and wrong.
The Oklahoma Judicial Conference Auxiliary, founded by JFI Board member
Barbara Lumpkin, devoted an entire spouses’ program during a recent
annual judicial meeting to understanding, appreciating, and learning how
to work with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for personality types. Others
discuss the unique temperament types or styles.
Considering the temperament types involved is useful when listening to
the perspective of parents experienced with public family life. What works
with the particular individuals in one family will not necessarily work
for another. Extroverts gain energy from people contact. Introverts gain
energy in their time alone. Some people gather information from concrete,
visible facts, while others rely on intuition. A huge percentage of lawyers
are the types who critique, evaluate, and decide based on objective data.
Others in their family may make situational and subjective choices based
on harmony with people. Most lawyers want only relevant information, make
lists, and enjoy a planned, predictable existence. Some of their family
members may be inherently spontaneous, flexible, and easy-going. The chances
of having at least one very orderly person in a judge’s family are
high. Family dynamics may be similar for many judges’ households.
Chief Judge Frank Nebeker remembers being a teenager when his father was
a judge in Utah. Frank felt he was especially vulnerable to arrest with
any driving mistakes, so he was cautious. Another judge’s teenager,
an extrovert, may be motivated to follow the local driving or drinking
laws because any infringement may be reported on the front page of the
newspaper. Another teenager may be naturally motivated to be careful because
of internal signals. Each parent may come at this issue from a different
perspective as well. To the extent that love and respect for the uniqueness
of each person in the family is honored, parents and children alike can
take the approach that works best for each individual and the entire family.