Parents Consider
Children’s Challenges in Public Life (cont)
Communication Works
Communication is the basic issue in judicial families according to Dr.
Steven P. Shearing, spouse of Nevada Justice Miriam Shearing. It’s
important for families to be able to discuss the impact of public life
issues as well as other topics on all people in the family whether children
are at home or grown. Former Chief Justice Henry Frye (NC) sets times
to talk with his grown sons at breakfast, lunch, or dinner, as their schedules
allow. One son is a trial judge ready to share ideas about public family
life management.
Keeping communication open with your family is key according to Dorothy
Baca, spouse of former New Mexico Justice Joseph Baca. She says it is
very important for judges to listen to what their family and others say
early on. During a nationally prominent civil trial, their daughter felt
free to call Justice Baca right away when a customer at the bridal shop
where she worked “lit into her” about the case. Her Dad was
able to give her some facts to help her understand what was happening
to help in dealing with people she encountered. The comfort of his availability
also helped build their relationship. With open communication intact,
the family shares the challenges of public life, but notices mostly the
opportunities involved.
Compared to many other families, discussions in judges’ homes are
often focused on public service and social policy issues. Children have
an opportunity to look beyond themselves and develop a healthy concern
for others. They get to meet fascinating people because of the judge’s
work. Judges’ children are included in banquets and other public
events where they hear inspiring speakers and learn extraordinary social
skills. They develop quality contacts and perspectives that last a lifetime.
They are sometimes able to see new places by going along to judicial meetings,
and enjoy being in conversation with other judges’ children. Judges’
children are proud to be connected to a parent who is highly respected
in their community.
Will We Talk About Controversial Topics and Court
Cases?
It is vitally important that persons coming into a courtroom are assured
of fair and impartial treatment. Confidentiality about home discussions
may have been learned when the parent was still a lawyer, but becomes
even more valuable in public life.
Justice Elizabeth Lacy (VA) often felt constrained about talking with
her family about current events and controversial topics when her sons
were young. She didn’t want to be quoted on particular issues. She
did talk, but was careful about what she said. Conversations turned more
to what her sons were experiencing or thinking. Justice Lacy believes
people usually think of family as a place where you can say what you think.
But for a judge this is not always the case. She has learned that she
is freer to discuss many issues with fellow judges at judicial conferences.
Justice Miriam Shearing (NV) thinks that whatever is part of the public
record in a court case can be discussed at home with spouse and children
to prepare them to understand and to answer complainers with accurate
information. When vicious attacks occur during a political campaign, she
advocates making special efforts to equip children to cope and to respond.