Parents
Consider
Children’s Challenges in Public Life
Chief Justice Rehnquist has said: “There’s no way in the world
that you can squeeze one more minute out of any day or one more day out
of any year. It takes time to be a good husband and a good wife. It takes
more time to be a good father and a good mother.”
Judges and their spouses invest the time to be present to their children
and to help the young people in the family grow and develop. Those who
like to read all the latest information on parenting are not likely to
find references to parenting in a public life situation. Judges and their
spouses learn a lot about high-visibility parenting from other judges
and their spouses. Sometimes parents have learned from their mistakes.
Experienced judicial parents know there are no perfect parents, and no
perfect children, but that doing one’s own best at parenting reaps
rewards. Judges and their spouses know that relationships do matter.
Judges report having to change gears between courthouse and home. At their
workplace their role is to decide between disputing parties and their
advocates. At home as spouses and parents, judges often listen without
deciding anything. With their families, the goal of confrontation is not
to decide who wins or loses, but to seek reconciliation.
Judge’s children are often in awe of their judicial parent. They
would compare themselves to their parent under any circumstances, but
even more so when a parent is a judge whose name is a household word where
they live. Teachers, classmates, and friends assume common interests and
abilities within the family. That might not necessarily be the case. Judges’
children may desire an unusual amount of parental approval and involvement
when they are constantly compared to a highly visible parent. Certainly
if the child’s skills and activities are quite different from those
of lawyers, they benefit doubly by parental appreciation and encouragement.
The families of trial judges confront considerably more public family
life challenges than do appellate judges, and are often remarkable in
their ingenuity in handling them. Many appellate judges and their spouses
have served also at the trial level. Often having statewide focus, they
may encounter so many trial judges and their families that they can see
patterns and share what works.
United States Court of Veteran’s Appeals Former Chief Judge Frank
Nebeker, who encounters hundreds of judges every year through his judicial
education projects, sees a trend toward younger judges who have families
at home. The need for public family life education may become even greater
in the future. Lawyer Andrew Lemmon (LA), son of Former Louisiana Justice
Harry Lemmon and Federal District Judge Mary Ann Vial Lemmon, sees many
advantages to growing up in a judicial family. He urges sharing of information
helpful to children in public life.